THE DAY I CRIED…

October 7, 2017 Awake, Children, Christ, climbing, Death, Destiny, Life, Love, Struggle, Uncategorized

Picture it…Cape Canaveral, Florida, October 17, 2016…

This is a day that I will never forget because on this day, I cried. It’s not like I shed a few tears to wipe away the pain, I sobbed for hours, uncontrollably.  I wailed, my body shook, I snorted, and had to use my albuterol inhaler to catch my breath.  I think this picture is vivid now…

The truth is that I have shed tears before.  Crying is something that I actually feel is normal and healthy. BUT…on this day, I cried like never before.

You see this day was a day that I had planned for weeks in advance.  This day was supposed to be special and in the blink of an eye, the day was completely off schedule and out of my control.

The next day, as I reflected on the events that transpired on October 17, 2016, I could not understand why I cried so much.  I replayed every moment over and over in my head, trying to figure out why I was so hurt and why I could not stop crying. I have had disappointments, I have been hurt, and I have experienced loss but these tears were different.

Then suddenly I realized, this cry was a culmination of many events.  None of which happened on October 17, 2016.

I cried because of years of pain and frustration over things that I felt I had long mourned. These tears had been building up for over a decade and on this day, they all came flooding out.

I cried because I planned out my life when I was 8 and nothing turned out the way I planned.

I cried because I feel my career hasn’t begun.

I cried because my son’s father was chased down and murdered like an animal and I can’t take the pain away from my son.

I cried because I couldn’t answer my son when he asked why did the man have to kill his father.

I cried because I’ve made so many sacrifices in life.

I cried for every disappointment that I had to regroup from.

I cried for every dream delayed.

I cried because at that moment, I realized that I’ve held “it” together for so long.

It was painful, it was agonizing, it was NECESSARY and REFRESHING!!!

Those tears freed me in a way that I did not know that I needed and in that moment the weight of the world fell from my shoulders.

Social

Related articles

Comments

  • Sometimes there are no words to express the emotions we are feelings. At times it becomes difficult to verbally express ourselves. Just like its difficult to answer abd understand questions to situations that we have no control over.
    You must bever stop praying. Always maintain a constant positive relationship with God. Having a strong relationship with God you are unknowingly preparing for the difficult times when our faith will be tested.
    The difficult times in life can lead to darkness and depression. Thats what the devil wants. His mission has never changed. He’s out to kill, steal, and destroy you. And he will at any cost and use any method to do so.
    I’m so hlad you have shared this story. Many people feel alone and isolated when thry are experiencing hardships. By shsring your story you arr lrttibg them know its ok if you are not superman or superwoman ALL the time.

Comments are closed.