Friend Zone…

The story goes like this (or some variation of this)…

• A  friendship is formed between two people,
• One or both may be romantically interested in the other (this fact may or may not be revealed),
• They begin to spend time together engaging in activities common to a romantic relationship (with or without sex),
• One decides they want more of a commitment in the relationship and the other communicates (verbally or non-verbally), they only want to be friends.

The individual that desires a romantic relationship puts their all into pleasing their friend.  Whether it is being available for movie and dinner dates; hanging out; or whatever…(you get the picture) :-).  The friend soaks it all up, reaping the benefits of a romantic partner although they will never go the next step in the relationship.

Every romantic relationship starts with a solid friendship (at least it should), therefore, initially forming a friendship is important.  What is more important is that you don’t manipulate yourself into thinking that eventually your friend will be your partner.  Waiting around for “them to realize what they have” is a hindrance.  They know exactly what they have, you have become a space filler and just like a seat warmer, you fill a space intended for someone else.  Being placed into the “brother” or “sister” role, usually pretty much lets you know it’s a rap.  EVEN if you are having sex, if they still have you cornered off as a play-play sibling, they have no intention of going past friends.  Yes, they possess all the qualities you desire in a partner but I hope one of your desires is that your partner desire you too.  The friend zone can be a  comfortable place  because both parties benefit in some way but the nights you spend confused, second guessing yourself, and feeling lonely, will always outweigh the gleam of hope you have in the relationship.

So the question is…does the friend zone ruin the possibility of men and women finding meaningful relationships?