Fairytales

While watching T.V. tonight, there was a scene in which friends with benefits (error number 1) decided to enter into a committed relationship with each other.  The woman, obviously the dominate member, made this decision after becoming jealous because the man began flirting with another woman. (Error number 2).

The couple went grocery shopping and while in the store, a friend of the woman asked the man, “what do you want to be when you grow up”?  The man responded that he was already what he wanted to be and had no aspirations to be anything else.  This upset the woman and when the couple got home, she questioned if he was joking in the store.  He explained to her that he was completely happy with his current career and did not want to change it in any way.  She proceeded to tell him things changed when they decided to start a relationship and she was starting to feel something and could never marry a man in his field.

Soooo…does this scenario sound familiar?  Have you ever entered into a relationship because you thought he/she would change/evolve?

If your answer is yes, you have successfully created your own fairytale. Friends with benefits is not the same as a romantic relationship.  It’s a friendship with sex and usually nothing more.  Often times in this type of relationship, you refuse to see the person right in front of you, you miss out on getting to know who they really are because you believe you already know them.  The woman on the show only saw what she wanted from the man.  She thought he was like her because of the friendship they had.  When he didn’t measure up, she wanted to walk away.  He was confused by her reaction, he didn’t understand what changed.  In the end, he left and went off to become a man she would marry, thus, leaving her single.

In your quest for love  remember it starts and ends with you.  You should begin with a solid friendship but that alone doesn’t make them the perfect partner.   Be honest with yourself and don’t turn your partner into a perfect being.  Give them room to be their authentic self and stop being so quick to walk away.