Walking Dead…

I am a huge proponent of forgiveness however, I recently found myself in foreign state. There was anger brewing inside of me that I did not understand and although I thought I was dealing with the anger, I came to the conclusion that I was not.

While watching the movie, “Dead man Walking”, I realized that I could see myself in the parents of the murdered children.  The had no compassion for the man who was accused of taking their children away from them.  They did not even see the man as human, he was a “mistake of God”, as one parent stated.  It was at that moment that I realized I had lost all compassion for a human being accused of killing someone who I cared about.  I replayed a conversation with a friend regarding the death penalty and clearly heard myself saying that “he” should be killed to stop him from killing anyone else.  I said that he took a life and would probably do it again if he were permitted to live.  I thought that even if he remained in prison for life, he would kill another prisoner and I had compassion for them.

Watching this movie was like looking in a mirror.  One that I had turned over because I did not like what I saw.  I have been going about my business for months thinking of all these reasons “he” should not be permitted to live. I never saw him, I saw a mug shot, then I saw the pain in my son’s eyes.  I saw my son’s tears and heard his unanswered question, “why did “he” have to kill my daddy”?  Ultimately only seeing black, darkness, and resentment.

Unforgiveness is a bitter pill to swallow and it ultimately can kill you.  You see, all this time I have been held hostage by anger and that is a danger to my soul.  My soul salvation is important to me and my goal is living a life that is pleasing to God.  Last night, God showed me, me!  I had to ask for forgiveness and forgive “him”.  I woke up this morning with swollen, red eyes BUT I can feel my load lightened.

I know it is hard to see past the pain that others have caused you but you have to see that you are more than your circumstances.  I never thought that I would be advocating for the death penalty but pain pushes you to points unseen. Thank You God for new mercy.

Today choose you and watch God work it out.